Nancy Pelosi Is Not Adolf Hitler. She’s Joseph Stalin.

Photo — Chelms Varthoumlien, Unsplash

Last week Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene (R) GA, appeared on a conservative podcast, where she compared being forced to get vaccines and wear masks inside the House of Representatives chambers as akin to “where (sic) people were told to wear a gold star, and they were definitely treated like second class citizens, so much so that they were put in trains and taken to gas chambers in Nazi Germany.”

(Editor’s note: Ms. Greene was talking about the yellow Star of David Jews were forced to wear in Germany under the Nazis, not the Gold Stars she has frequently complained she never received in grade school.)

Her comments unleashed the usual storm of protest from politicians of both parties though, as usual, it was mostly Democrats sounding the alarm. A few Republicans even backed Ms. Greene’s comments.

“She missed a golden opportunity to consign the Democratic Party to the dustbin of history,” said one Representative who requested anonymity.

He was referring to a second wave of commentary that began to pour in on the heels of the initial wave of protests over Greene’s comments — this time from historians who also objected to Greene’s analogy.

“Marjorie Taylor Greene got it plain wrong,” said one eminent WWII historian. “Pelosi is not like Hitler. If you’re going to use that analogy, at least get it right. She’s more like Stalin.”

Hitler and the Nazis, as everyone knows, murdered more than 6 million Jews and Gypsies during WWII.

“People forget that Stalin killed between 40 and 60 million of his own people,” the historian explained. “Hitler didn’t consider Jews, or anyone who wasn’t from the Aryan bloodline, as real Germans. That’s the difference between Hitler on the one hand, and Stalin and Pelosi on the other. It’s all about who you’re persecuting.”

For younger people who have a difficult time understanding the nuanced differences between two of the most sadistic and bloodthirsty rulers in history, a chaired history professor at a prestigious Ivy League school said to think of it in musical terms.

“Hitler was like a New Wave musician in the 80s, or even a 90s Punk rocker. The radical, in-your-face moustache and haircut, the arm salute, the magnetic personality, the love of celebrity. You see a lot of Johnny Rotten, lead singer of the Sex Pistols, in Hitler. The sort of anti­-style evoked by the moustache, the way he delivered his speeches in angry rants. It reminds me of, well, pretty much the entire Never Mind the Bullocks, Here’s the Sex Pistols album.

“But you also see glimpses of Sting in Hitler, or Bowie in his Ziggy Stardust phase,” he went on. “To compare Nancy Pelosi to Hitler makes a mockery of those musicians. Pelosi is more like Janis Joplin — if Joplin hadn’t died young.”

Joseph Stalin was something else altogether, said a member of a prestigious think tank and one of the world’s leading authorities on the Russian ruler. “I like the musical analogy my colleague used. It explains a lot.

“Through that lens, Stalin can be seen as more of a Gordon Lightfoot figure. He made soothing, beautiful music that people adored. Let’s face it, how many college boys had their first sex after playing one of Lightfoot’s albums for a girl? And yet, his greatest hit, If You Could Read My Mind, can also be seen as a chilling analogy to the darkest times under Stalin, with its references to a castle dark or a fortress strong, with chains upon my feet.

“And those last lines!” the think tanker said, reading them to this reporter.

I don’t know where we went wrong
But the feeling’s gone
And I just can’t get it back

“Wow! Lightfoot could have literally been singing those lines about Stalin — how he lost all feeling for his people and couldn’t ‘get it back’ as the amoral paranoid psychopath took over,” he explained.

“There was a certain cuddly grandpa quality about Stalin that made you want to sit in his lap, even if he was the most prolific mass murderer in history,” a feeling many Russians still hold for Stalin. “I think it was Stalin’s moustache. It was big and thick, like your grandfather’s — not like Hitler’s little upper lip Brazilian wax. Nobody ever wanted to sit on Hitler’s lap. “

Comments like these are now being taken up by some of Trump’s most ardent supporters, as they try to spin these remarks to make it look as though Ms. Greene’s comments were reasonable, “completely on target,” even planned.

“Marjorie is playing a game within a game within a game, just like Trump,” said a Republican colleague. “If she had used Stalin for her analogy, nobody would have understood. Hitler’s the rock star everyone remembers — the Mick Jaggar of WWII, if you will. Stalin was like the band Manager. He’s there, he’s super important, but nobody knows his name.

“But now, everyone’s talking about Stalin. And Nancy Pelosi.”

TOMORROW: Republicans Slam Democrats for “Showing Americans Government Can Actually Work”



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Bret O'Connor Plate

Bret O'Connor Plate

Inventor of Dark Matter. From time to time I may, when I can pull myself away from running the invisible Universe, write something.